being Mom

I attended a creative writing workshop last night. I wanted to get ideas on how to add more to my writing, both on the blog and off. I have always considered writing a book one day. What kind of book I am not certain. Could be a children's book, a crafting book, or maybe I could be more expressive and write some type of creative story/ memoir.  Just some thoughts.

Anyways, I thought it wold be nice to meet some people and get out for an hour or so. I was there for 2 hours and although the ladies were nice, it wasn't my cup of tea. There were five of us. We were given a prompt and then wrote for 20 minutes and then shared our writing.  Many of these women could really write. Stories.  Mine was more of a reflection on my life where I am now.

I felt so out of my element. The conversations were just not me. I really kept thinking of how I just wanted to get home and have some ice cream.  I am not a big sharer-which is weird since I have a public blog. Maybe because I am behind a screen and not face to face with someone I am more comfortable sharing my life. And I know distant relatives love knowing about what we are up to.

The facilitator of the group kept looking at me and I didn't want to be rude so I had to  make eye contact. Then she would ask me questions about myself and life. This was not what I had been hoping for when I went to the class. I wanted instruction.

One of the questions that she asked was what career do I associate myself with. I did not have to think about the answer. All I have ever wanted out of life was to be "Mom". 

But when I got home I did think about the question more. The answer is still true, but it made me reflect. I am always hoping for some time to myself or that I want to create/write. What truly gives me joy on a daily basis is waking up to two wonderful boys- even if they do bicker first thing in the morning. Making the meals. Cleaning the house. Taking long walks in the woods. Watching their eyes sparkle as they discover new things. Being home together every day. Just sharing our lives together.

Many people will say to me that I am their teacher because we home school. And yes they do need to learn things. Especially since we have moved to Vermont I have had a small freak out that I needed to do more due to their home study regulations. In the end though, when I relax enough and just live with them and enjoy our daily activities I know they are learning. We read, we write, we bake, we cook, we investigate, we create. All these things require specific skills that they learn along the way.

I remember when I was teaching in the public schools right before I left to have William. All the other teachers said to me I would be back. I would miss it too much. No one seemed to understand that teaching for me was a means to an end. I wanted a family, to be a mom. I wanted to raise a huge brood of children and be at peace at home. We may not have the huge brood we had originally intended, but God has blessed us with 2 healthy boys and of course one on the way. I am extremely grateful everyday for them and for the life I am living as Mom.

I am happy with my career choice as Mom and wouldn't ever change it. I am learning more and more that I am a simpleton.  Call it naive if you wold like, but I really don't need too much. I am content to be concerned with what goes on in this house and land that we now call home. If one day I write a book then that will only be icing on the cake.

For now I am simply Mom. Simply me.